Birthday Gratitude

Thursday was my birthday, I turned 25, a quarter of a century old!  Usually I wake up and reflect on the past year of life.  And as I started to let the film of the past roll through my mind I felt urged to stop.  Today was not about who I am based on the past year but who God is making me to be.  I was reminded that I am Child 1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. So often we determine who we are based on the past.  Our accomplishments and failures, the right and wrongs we've committed, the perceptions or feedback of others; completing losing site of the very blue print of our DNA, Genesis 1:27 So God created man in how own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  Not to negate the necessity and importance of remembrance as a sign of gratitude for what God has done! And as a pillar of faith we stand upon, so when the storm comes we do not forget His faithfulness.  

And so my day began lying in bed being served a yummy breakfast and being reminded of who I am as a child of the living God!  What a great feeling to know you are loved.  I was blessed with cards, flowers, phone calls, and text messages throughout the day.  Although I think most of us wish life could just stop for the day, class awaited me as usual! The evening was spent at a wine bar with a group of my lady friends enjoying live music, appetizers & dessert, and great conversation!  Before I went to bed Michael surprised me with a handmade journal from Etsy that we will use to write our love story, capturing the memories and conversations of life together.  Michael surprised me last night with a night in Cambria and of course there is no trip North that doesn't include the Big Sur Coast.  Today we ran the Harmony Headland National Park Trail which starts from Hwy 1 out to the ocean.  It was breathtaking.  A perfect day after a storm. Need I say more.

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes I dream about being a little girl again

Sometimes I wish I could capture a moment forever

Sometimes I dream I was in Africa holding a child

Sometimes I wish I could hide from the world

Sometimes I dream about having children 

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to work so hard

Sometimes I dream everyone I love was saved

Sometimes I wish school came easier for me

Sometimes I dream about a french country home

Sometimes I wish I could eat sugar and not feel guilty

Sometimes I dream about heaven

Sometimes I wish I learned the first time

Sometimes I dream about living on a farm

Sometimes I wish I lived near everyone I loved

Sometimes I dream about the spiritual maturity I will have in ten years 

Sometimes I wish I could always be young

Sometimes I dream Jesus will come soon

SOMETIMES...

FAITH

2 Corinthians 5.7 Walk by faith and not by sight.  Hebrews 4. 1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever draws near to God must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who seek him. 8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance.  And he went out, not knowing where he was going.  17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named."29 By faith the people crossed the Red Sea as if on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same, were drowned.  By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.  

By faith I walk clinging to my God who is bigger than my circumstances.  Pressing towards what is ahead and not holding onto the past that can so easily entangle and distract us from our great prize Jesus. Even when my heart feels like a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; turning it wherever He wills Proverbs 21:1, I am reminded of his promise Psalm 73:23, He is continually with me; who holds my right hand.  Who guides me with his counsel, and afterword will receive me to glory.  26 My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  

When God gives you lemons make lemonade

"When God gives you lemons make lemonade!" I am not sure when I first heard this statement but I can only imagine a wise life weathered soul echoing these words long, long ago.  

"But I didn't ask for lemons!" 

I am sure we all have our "something" we didn't ask for. Wether it is a health, financial, relational, personal or spiritual affair, you didn't ask for it but you now have it.  So what I am learning to ask myself is not why but how? So, not why did you give me lemons? But how can I make lemonade? In other words how can I glorify you with these 'lemons' (sounds quite comical when you put it in the context of fruit)!

It is often easy to live in the fantasy of what we want and envision what life would be like.  I fall into this temptation many a times.  Michael and I were reminded last week by Rolland Baker, a man who is living like Jesus in a desperate and hungry country that there are two things that give him Joy (and this man had uncontrollable & uncontainable joy)....

1. The fear of the Lord

2. Doing His will 

As I have been reading through the book of Daniel with a good friend, I have been challenged by the God fearing faith of Daniel.  His life after Israel had been brought into captivity, was under scrutiny because he had gained favor in the eyes of the king and was appointed leadership over his courts.  Yet there was a clause to this nobility Daniel had been handed and that was embracing the Babylonian ways.  Daniel resolved not to become like the Babylonians and refused to eat, drink, or worship their Gods.  The fear of man did not dictate his loyalty to the Lord but the fear of God drove him to fierce loyalty.  And because of this as the story continues to unfold God is faithful to answer and deliver Daniel from many life threatening circumstances.  

And then there is doing his will. Knowing in simplest terms he calls us to love him & love our neighbor making us more holy and beautiful through the process.  And then there is suffering he calls us to as his children.  As well as specific gifts, callings, and plans he has on our life.  Which sounds so easy as I let these words flow out of me yet so unnatural when they go against my desires and plans.  And so the prayer I have been petitioning to Jesus is, "Give me joy to do your will!"

I was reminded of the fathers heart this morning in church as I heard a small voice speak to me.  Matthew 7:9-11 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If then you who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 

So my strength comes not in my circumstance but in the person of God & who I get to be in him! And who you get to be in him! What great news! 

Marriage

It seems like the more I fall in love the easier fear creeps in and says hold on tighter 'what if?'  And then the 'what ifs' begin to linger longer and become more clear.  Do you ever find yourself on these destructive mental paths of fear?  The uncontrollable moments of life that are pressed against every minute yet seem like invisible walls around us until the fear creeps in.  And then in the midst of meandering fears and rationality I remember my God who is in control.  Who knows my waking and lying down.  Who knows the number of hairs on my head.  Who knows my deepest heart cries.  And then I get to cling to Him and not the fear.  Oh what it would have been like for Abraham offering his only son Issac on the alter of sacrifice.  Fear, yes.  Sorrow and pain, yes.  But he was obedient and God honors obedience.  Now that I am one with Michael  we get to walk hand in hand on this journey of obedience towards His heavenly calling  of dying to ourself, bearing our cross, and worshiping our Creator however that may look and wherever that may be.  

As we were driving back from a wedding Saturday night we began talking about comparing.  Comparing is truly one of the most destructive devices the enemy uses to break us down with lies.  As we talked about our own individual battles of comparing I began to think about the comparisons that can easily slip into a marriage.  I came across this excerpt from John Piper the other day it spoke to my heart. Enjoy.

Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of material success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity.

So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.

Like a child

Free, fearless, trusting, and humble.  

As a child your heart did not question the boundaries mom and dad put around you, maybe your will and instincts did, but you did not yet have the capacity to emotionally and intellectually doubt and question those mothers instincts of, "Don't run into the street!"  You took one step back onto the curb, she embraced you and the moment became a fleeting vapor.  Now things are different.  You know the difference between right and wrong, you know the deadly capacity of carelessly running into the street, you see the other side of that street, so everything changes from this point on.  That fleeting vapor now feels like a thunderstorm in the middle of the Amazon.  A mothers good natured instinct becomes a battle of the wills.  Those uninhibited urges to just be free now take on the form of hot coils under your feet.  And those agents of death are no longer Tonka Trucks but life altering realities.  All of a sudden your world becomes much larger beyond the cement curb.  You trusted her when her stern loving voice directed your footsteps back to the house away from danger.  You trusted her when she would remind you to brush your teeth, not fully understanding the concept of bacteria and cavities.  You trusted her when she told you to drink all your milk because it would give you strong bones but you did not understand how.  You trusted her when she told you she would be there at 3:00pm even though you could not see into the future.  It was the natural overflow of a child's heart to trust.  And just like a pair of pants worn too much begin to fade so did that trusting heart. 

 And so I pray bring me back to that day I stopped at my mothers voice, without question or doubt.  To jump freely, fearlessly, trusting, and humbly into the arms of my Maker.    

Anniversary

J Patrick House 

Hwy 46

My dreamy French Country Home  

Country Life

Wine Tasting & Riding Bikes 

August 2nd, was our 2nd anniversary and we spent a cozy evening in Cambria at a Bed and Breakfast.  My one request was a fireplace and Robins, one of my favorite restaurants on the Central Coast.  We stayed in a very homey B&B and had a yummy homemade breakfast in the morning, a delicious dinner, and a gorgeous bike ride in Paso Robles through the vineyards.  It felt like we were in Napa! Our hearts were so full of gratitude and excitement of the blessing marriage has been for us.  The Lord has been so gracious to bring us through many challenges together to experience an even sweeter union.  One thing I prayed for when I was 16 was to have a husband who did not only appreciate the things I was passionate about but who enjoyed those things as well, and man oh man did the Lord hear that prayer! I always thought life would be much richer experiencing everything side by side with your best friend and it comes so easy for us.  I hope this does not seem like I am bragging yet rejoicing in Gods abundant blessings in our lives.  Everything is so much sweeter with Jesus!!