A New Life

So although this blog has become sporadic and inconsistent writing may be more of an outlet for me to process this transition into being a nurse and rather less of taking snapshots of our life. To be honest life has changed so much the rememberance of what was has vanished in the midst of what is. I am not sure where to start. The moments I have rest in my mind away from the pathophysiology, etiologies, and nursing interventions, I almost forget how to think normally. One of my professors said by the end of this year you will look in the mirror and not recognize who you are because of how far you have come in your knowledge and skills as a nurse. Even know 5 weeks into it I have moments when I lose myself completely as though I am no longer the Jennifer I knew for 25 years, those out of body, surreal, unexplainable moments that I am sure you have experienced. Maybe when you are looking at your own children playing or growing up you think am I really their parent, are they really my child? Those moments when you realize you are not in control and the only thing holding you up is the love of the Father. My father gave me freedom to choose this path of nursing, yet, he wrote this divine and special plan for my life. There are two times in my life I can say with confidence God directly spoke to me. The first time was when Michael and I were going through a really difficult time in our marriage and God sang Isaiah 54:4-8 over me. The second time was on the beach in Pismo in May. I just found out I did not get accepted to the nursing school I am attending now -they had had made a mistake with some of my paper work-and I cried out to God from the depths of my heart like David did saying, search me Oh God, see the desires of my heart You have placed in me, remember your faithfulness in bringing me to this point. And He said, "I will fulfill my plans in and through you." Two months later I found out I got in to Mount St. Mary's College. And now I am at the bedside of people who were on the verge of dying and may die if their body doesn't respond to the surgery or transplant they underwent. I am faced with two realities. One, our incredible God has masterfully woven our bodies together to prevent and fight off disease, to adapt to changes, and to regenerate and repair from damage in such a way I don't know how one could deny such an incredible and divine designer! And secondly because of sin and the brokenness of this world we are faced with the inevitable reality of death. For those of us who are saved we can shout, "Oh death where is your string" yet for those who are perishing there may be no echo of victory but of despair. Therefore we become ambassadors of this good news. David Platt says, it is the shocking reality of the cross, yet while we were still sinners He saved us and took on our punishment, calling us sons and daughters and inviting us into the imperishable treasure of our inheritance. My plea is this shocking reality would not grow dim in our hearts as believers but it would become our daily manna! When we let God be God in our lives, incredible things can happen, but it takes a heart of surrender. Bruchko who was a missionary in Venezuela put it this way, we must let God be the hammock of our lives. We hang our entire lives in that hammock trusting He is the anchor holding us up.

Summer

Michael's First Official Day as a Nursing Student

Tuscali Mountain Inn

3rd anniversary in Topanga Canyon

(Copy and Paste the link below to view our Backpacking Trip in Mineral King)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/66529555@N03/

As you can tell we have been missing in action. We have been in constant transition since, well, our entire marriage! Although moving may be one of my top 10 least favorite activities to do, it deepens the reality of this shifting and shakable earthly 'home' we have and how as Jesus says, He has gone to prepare a new home for us in heaven. With the continual changes in our life over the years it has forced me to be more heavenly minded through the letting go of stuff, people, and places. Recalling Paul's words, If then you have been raised with christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above and not things that are on the earth. Thus with all of this said we are in a new season. This past Monday we officially moved down to the Los Angeles area to embrace the call of being a nurse. The Lord miraculously worked all of the details out as we too sowed seeds towards this dream over the past two years to get into nursing school. Michael started his first day at Cerritos College for an Associates Degree in Nursing. And myself, will start Monday at Mount St. Mary's College Accelerated Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Michael's program is 2 years and mine is 1. I think for both of us this big transition feels very surreal. Yes, we miss our community, dear friends, and living on the Central Coast but the Lord has been faithful in preparing our hearts for this goodbye as well as given us a greater hope in the call and plans he has for our lives! I have learned in order for one to persevere forward and walk in obedience, not as Lots wife who looked back at her city and turned into a pillar of salt, we must hold onto the promises of God. What our His promises for you today?

As far as recapping the past four months some of the blessings we experienced were: Backpacking in Yosemite with Paul and Elizabeth (Paul and Michael went to college together) in May, Colorado Reunion with my college roommates and their spouses in June, Bass Lake with my childhood friends and family in July, our most recent backpacking trip to Mineral King in August, and celebrating our 3rd anniversary in Malibu.

Unravled

The propensity to find an affection of our heart becomes like a dirty drug we cannot run from. To propel our self into the reality of something real beyond the mundane and ordinary weighs against the walls of desire. Tangled with pure and evil yearnings of our heart, fed by streams of conscience. Pumping like an i.v with the current of the cosmos. Fighting to stay pure and unstained by the guilty accuser I stand and fall crying for the blood pouring from His hands and feet. Nails digging further, head pounding, side throbbing, spinning into the dark and the light, desiring both. Like a child unaware of the shackles entering into the bought freedom, unattained by mortality but a heart trusting in the unseen. Losing myself in His royalty of scarlet silk, all alone I am held close. Predestined and chosen, uncertain of the path or the call ahead. Waiting upon planted seeds to blossom into His righteous promises. Wrestling with picture books of the past bound to stained pages I tear out of my mind. Transforming ashes to beauty, I must die. Forgetting what is behind and pressing towards what is ahead, hungry and thirsty for his filling. Crying from the depths to fill this hungry soul with visions of eternity. Scaling the jagged cliffs around me I cling to the rock of salvation, crying deliver me. Loathing all that is luke warm in my life, fighting to rise above the waves of deception and comfort disguised in good works. Persevering to His throne of glory, I must fight to be filled by only Him.

Coronado & Mexico

Devils Punch Bowl Race in Palmdale

Go number 737

Coronado Island

Night Shot from the Condo

Grandma Dilley 91 years old

Aunt Christy in Coronado

Houses on a hill, where we stayed. The body of water is an estuary

Valley just right from our door step, there were always people riding their horses

Our balcony and morning devotion

Door of Faith, orphanage we visited in town

Field of Squash

Candied Pecans

Puerto Nuevo known for their lobster

Sea Adventures

We just got back from a spur of the moment spring break adventure to Palm Dale, Orange County, Coronado, & Mexico. What a sweet sweet time we had connecting with friends, family, each other and are awesome God. We both couldn't remember the last time we got away from the distractions of our home, work, and school so we decided it was time to leave it all behind. As time presses against our dreams and hopes of having a family someday, being nurses, and missionaries I find us yearning for more quiet times with the Lord. Often I prioritize the dishes in the sink, the laundry in the hamper, the clothes on the floor, and the "putting away" before being still. My spirit felt at rest this week. Instead of filling my time with life's maintenances I filled it with the word. We both can testify of His faithfulness this week in giving us rest, building us up, and planting some shaking truths in our hearts about the kingdom. My memory verse this week was 1 Corinthians 15:57 For God has given us the victory in our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing your labor is not in vain. Be encouraged knowing when we draw near to Him, He is there, always there!

More than Enough

More than enough money for todays needs. More than enough food in the pantry. More than enough clothes in the closet. More than enough books on the shelf. More than enough freedom and choices for the day. More than enough restaurants and stores to shop at. More than enough vacation spots to choose from. More than enough entertainment to distract us from reality. Yet somehow in the midst of this reality I find myself believing I do not have enough. My house is not big enough, I do not have enough dishes, I do not have enough money in my bank account, I do not have enough food in my pantry, I do not have enough shoes, I do not have enough chairs for people to sit in, I do not have enough nice things, I do not have enough time. And the list goes on. What a lie Satan wants us to live in, one that we don't have enough, and two that deep down because outwardly we do not have enough we are not enough. But the good news is Jesus has qualified us by his blood and we are and have more than enough in Him!

I was inspired, humbled, and shaken up as I read this young woman's blog (http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com) about Jesus being more than enough in the midst of their scarcity, disease, abandonment, war, and hunger. She was 20 years old and became a mother of 4 orphans in Uganda, and now she is 22 and is a mother of 14 girls. Yet, somehow as Westerners we have to wait till our bank account reaches a certain point to GIVE fearlessly.

But our faith is challenged as we see Jesus multiply the loaf and the fish to feed five thousand or the widow who fed Elijah with a small portion of flour and oil yet had enough for her family for days. And so my faith is challenged to GIVE all I have to Jesus and the beauty is we are never spent when we GIVE it all to Him, 1 kings 17:16 The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the oil become empty. What a picture of the heart of God, He is always more than enough!

Spring time is here,fresh veggies are near

He is the vine and we are the branches

Betty Lou

April 2nd was our big planting day last year on the farm and Michael was eager to keep the tradition alive since we all truly enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Last Saturday we spent the day making rows, setting up irrigation, and planting. Thanks to Danny Hill and my Michael Paine, the farm is in full spring! We have been enjoying the warm sunshine, planting, farming, and Betty Lou our neighbors bull dog who I babysit.

Another Day

Our weekend in Long Beach

Dad's are one of the greatest things in life:)

A few weekends ago Michael and I went down to L.A for two nursing appointments. And of course there is not trip down to L.A without hanging out with the parents and Bubba of course! Here are some pictures of the day in Long Beach down by the Queen Mary and Old Light house. I am so thankful that our families get along so well, it makes things really easy!

Just a few updates with the Paines by the chickens. We are loving living in Arroyo Grande. I am running a muck and Michael's biking a muck around these back country roads! Michael and a friend have been working on some book shelves for the house this past week and I can't wait to put them up. I just finished organizing our kitchen hutch and sewing projects this weekend. ! Next weekend we start the farm again, looking forward to some yummy vegetables. I have two more nursing school applications, but we should find out if we got accepted anywhere

the beginning of May.

For now we are enjoying each day as it comes!

Why does Michael not blog?

First Race in Los Olivos 

Go number 539!!! 

Well I can never seem to catch the man now that he has picked up biking as his replacement for running. I am sure all of you know Michael Paine as a runner but he is now road biking pretty intensely on a weekly basis.  From Nipomo to Cambria he is covering some major ground, biking 100's of miles.  And he loves that he gets to know other guys who enjoy the sport as well.  I think biking has becoming an awesome fit for Michael.  He loves to explore, he is competitive, athletic, and enjoys getting to know new people.  He did his first race back in February in Los Olivos.  Lets just say the last 50 feet of the race did not reflect the 34 miles prior.  But, that hasn't stopped him! 

Out in the Country

Today I captured a couple shots of our new little country bumpkin life, enjoy the tour.

Some of our neighbors

Pismo Beach from our kitchen window

Who doesn't like to nest? 

The Patio

Come on over anytime! We would love to have ya'll! 

Mishkan

The hebrew word for Tabernacle is Mishkan, which means dwelling place.  For the past three weeks Michael & I have been teaching the 4th-6th graders about the Tabernacle.  We dove in straight to Exodus identifying each article, purpose, and foreshadow of Jesus Christ.  Some Sunday's I thought they might leave in a bible comma.  One little boy prayed at the end of our second week, "Thank you Lord, for our freedom."  He saw the law and he knew this was not his own experience of Christ.  Hebrews 8:6 But as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises.  For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for a second.  And so what had been in place for over 2000 years, Christ made obsolete. Not only did he make the old covenant obsolete but he perfected the new one and has left us with this promise, Hebrews: 9:12 He entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by the means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption.  What great news! As I am still unraveling these things in my heart and my mind of this new covenant we are under, I am amazed that I need not find an earthly mishkan but His mishkan is in me.  He is truly Emmanuel.  

Today I am thankful for our freedom in christ, little children, my husband, my sweet sister in Christ Haley, and pesto pizza.  

Goodbye Paines by the sea, Hello Paines by the chickens

Shell Beach 

Our Old Home 

Although we can see the sea from our kitchen window we are more like the Paines by the chickens; if stepping on chicken crap and being woken by roosters at 4 am is quite the  constitution for this new title or season if you'd like to call it that.  The chickens are not ours but we practically share the same living quarters with them.  The only difference is they're squaters and were renters! Ironically we live on the same street where Michael grew up in Arroyo Grande.  A place in San Luis Obispo we always dreamed of living.  It's not the french country home I dreamed of, but we have the goats and chickens as a start towards our little fantasy!  

So this afternoon as I was driving back to our new country cottage  I thought to myself how I don't miss Shell Beach like I thought I would.  Of course the sentimentality of our precious home and kind neighbors was difficult waving goodbye too but we had to trust the Lord was bringing us further into his plans.  To be frank, we did not have a lot of clarity as to where we were suppose to live.  We looked for months.  Nothing to my standards as Michael would probably say.  Which was true most of the time until the words came pouring out one night as I was in tears after having put a deposit down on a cat wreaking, pot smoking house, we resigned to because we felt desperate, "I just want something clean and odorless!"  For about a week I was a walking puddle.  When would I see the promise land?  For 6  weeks we stayed with a family from church.  Our things were in their garage and in a storage unit and we no longer had the keys to 329 Windward.  This small and incomparable trial at times seemed like a sinking ship I was aboard.  And so for the first seven days of living in our new home, I grumbled like Israel.  I wanted to go back to Egypt.  My manna was not satisfactory. 

And then I came to my senses after buying a few storage bins and totes and some paint.  I could make this place home.  And not only would I make this place home but I would find joy in the limitations.  So, this is it, joy in the limitations.  And not only is it this but it is them.  I think there is a lot the Lord wants to do in us here and in the midst of being pruned and sanctified we have some neighbors we really like but who God loves more.  I hope you can come along with us on another Paine journey as we venture through, in, and around that stinky ol chicken coup!  

A New Thing

Los Olivos Hike 

Breath of fresh air

Remember not the former thing, nor consider the things of old. 

Behold I am doing a new thing; 

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

Once again we are moving! I didn't realize when I married Michael the transient nomadic adventurer would our surroundings be constantly changing.  Not to put all the blame on my husband, as my mom always said, "you get bored easily!"  Ironically both of our nature's are to seek the new, yet to be honest I was not excepting another move the first month of the new year, 2011.  But, this is where the Lord is bringing us, into another new season of transition.  I am reminded though, that my God is always constant and never changing, despite my ever changing circumstances.  

We have moved out of our little beach cottage because of Michael's mold allergies and have found another home in Arroyo Grande.  It reminds us of our first little place in Shell Beach when we first got married.  I know the Lord has great plans and purposes for us in our new home and ultimately Gods sovereignty is over this transition, not the mold.  He continually reminds me, my home is heaven, and to not store up treasures on earth but in heaven.  Every move, I release more of our earthly possessions and attachments, which to be honest is very liberating.  And the beauty of change is He changes us in the process. Oh the things I have been learning about myself this past month, quite humbling to say the least.  Yet I am refreshed this morning as I cast myself upon the throne of grace, petitioning for what I need in my weakness.  Not only is He doing a new thing around us, but in us.  And that is the hope that we cling to in the circumstance.  I have a long way to go, but Christ fills up what is lacking in me today. Yes, let it be! 

Michael's Birthday

My first Fruit tart; kiwi, blueberry & blackberries with apricot & custard filling

Michael was born on January 16th, 1980 at 8:48am. Since our life has been quite the whirl wind of living between two houses, looking for a new home, starting school, maintaining normalcy with friendships and church, & staying healthy in the midst of everything today was nothing exceptional if you know what I did last year for Michael. But of course there is no birthday without a few surprises. Waking up to the crashing of the waves just two houses down from where we are staying we thanked the Lord for His purposes, protection, plans, and provisions over Michaels life. He opened a small gift of dri-fit long sleeve under shirts for his long bike rides and a hand made card. I made an egg scramble with brie and toast. And then we headed off for a day of In-N-Out and the movies with the Sunday school kids we teach. After looking at three potential places to live, we left in disappointment and decided we needed to let go and let God be God. The sunset was glorious this evening and we soaked it in while we reflected on the days events. For dinner we had spicy shrimp & lobster stir fry with brown rice. And for dessert a homemade fruit tart with vanilla bean ice cream and a red port! We celebrated with our dear friends Leslie & Tony who we are staying with currently. I am quite the proud wife as I gaze upon who my husband is and has become and who he will be as Christ continues to conform him into His image. Yah, for another Birthday Celebration!!!