Goodbye Paines by the sea, Hello Paines by the chickens

Shell Beach 

Our Old Home 

Although we can see the sea from our kitchen window we are more like the Paines by the chickens; if stepping on chicken crap and being woken by roosters at 4 am is quite the  constitution for this new title or season if you'd like to call it that.  The chickens are not ours but we practically share the same living quarters with them.  The only difference is they're squaters and were renters! Ironically we live on the same street where Michael grew up in Arroyo Grande.  A place in San Luis Obispo we always dreamed of living.  It's not the french country home I dreamed of, but we have the goats and chickens as a start towards our little fantasy!  

So this afternoon as I was driving back to our new country cottage  I thought to myself how I don't miss Shell Beach like I thought I would.  Of course the sentimentality of our precious home and kind neighbors was difficult waving goodbye too but we had to trust the Lord was bringing us further into his plans.  To be frank, we did not have a lot of clarity as to where we were suppose to live.  We looked for months.  Nothing to my standards as Michael would probably say.  Which was true most of the time until the words came pouring out one night as I was in tears after having put a deposit down on a cat wreaking, pot smoking house, we resigned to because we felt desperate, "I just want something clean and odorless!"  For about a week I was a walking puddle.  When would I see the promise land?  For 6  weeks we stayed with a family from church.  Our things were in their garage and in a storage unit and we no longer had the keys to 329 Windward.  This small and incomparable trial at times seemed like a sinking ship I was aboard.  And so for the first seven days of living in our new home, I grumbled like Israel.  I wanted to go back to Egypt.  My manna was not satisfactory. 

And then I came to my senses after buying a few storage bins and totes and some paint.  I could make this place home.  And not only would I make this place home but I would find joy in the limitations.  So, this is it, joy in the limitations.  And not only is it this but it is them.  I think there is a lot the Lord wants to do in us here and in the midst of being pruned and sanctified we have some neighbors we really like but who God loves more.  I hope you can come along with us on another Paine journey as we venture through, in, and around that stinky ol chicken coup!  

A New Thing

Los Olivos Hike 

Breath of fresh air

Remember not the former thing, nor consider the things of old. 

Behold I am doing a new thing; 

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

Once again we are moving! I didn't realize when I married Michael the transient nomadic adventurer would our surroundings be constantly changing.  Not to put all the blame on my husband, as my mom always said, "you get bored easily!"  Ironically both of our nature's are to seek the new, yet to be honest I was not excepting another move the first month of the new year, 2011.  But, this is where the Lord is bringing us, into another new season of transition.  I am reminded though, that my God is always constant and never changing, despite my ever changing circumstances.  

We have moved out of our little beach cottage because of Michael's mold allergies and have found another home in Arroyo Grande.  It reminds us of our first little place in Shell Beach when we first got married.  I know the Lord has great plans and purposes for us in our new home and ultimately Gods sovereignty is over this transition, not the mold.  He continually reminds me, my home is heaven, and to not store up treasures on earth but in heaven.  Every move, I release more of our earthly possessions and attachments, which to be honest is very liberating.  And the beauty of change is He changes us in the process. Oh the things I have been learning about myself this past month, quite humbling to say the least.  Yet I am refreshed this morning as I cast myself upon the throne of grace, petitioning for what I need in my weakness.  Not only is He doing a new thing around us, but in us.  And that is the hope that we cling to in the circumstance.  I have a long way to go, but Christ fills up what is lacking in me today. Yes, let it be! 

Michael's Birthday

My first Fruit tart; kiwi, blueberry & blackberries with apricot & custard filling

Michael was born on January 16th, 1980 at 8:48am. Since our life has been quite the whirl wind of living between two houses, looking for a new home, starting school, maintaining normalcy with friendships and church, & staying healthy in the midst of everything today was nothing exceptional if you know what I did last year for Michael. But of course there is no birthday without a few surprises. Waking up to the crashing of the waves just two houses down from where we are staying we thanked the Lord for His purposes, protection, plans, and provisions over Michaels life. He opened a small gift of dri-fit long sleeve under shirts for his long bike rides and a hand made card. I made an egg scramble with brie and toast. And then we headed off for a day of In-N-Out and the movies with the Sunday school kids we teach. After looking at three potential places to live, we left in disappointment and decided we needed to let go and let God be God. The sunset was glorious this evening and we soaked it in while we reflected on the days events. For dinner we had spicy shrimp & lobster stir fry with brown rice. And for dessert a homemade fruit tart with vanilla bean ice cream and a red port! We celebrated with our dear friends Leslie & Tony who we are staying with currently. I am quite the proud wife as I gaze upon who my husband is and has become and who he will be as Christ continues to conform him into His image. Yah, for another Birthday Celebration!!!

Birthday Gratitude

Thursday was my birthday, I turned 25, a quarter of a century old!  Usually I wake up and reflect on the past year of life.  And as I started to let the film of the past roll through my mind I felt urged to stop.  Today was not about who I am based on the past year but who God is making me to be.  I was reminded that I am Child 1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. So often we determine who we are based on the past.  Our accomplishments and failures, the right and wrongs we've committed, the perceptions or feedback of others; completing losing site of the very blue print of our DNA, Genesis 1:27 So God created man in how own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  Not to negate the necessity and importance of remembrance as a sign of gratitude for what God has done! And as a pillar of faith we stand upon, so when the storm comes we do not forget His faithfulness.  

And so my day began lying in bed being served a yummy breakfast and being reminded of who I am as a child of the living God!  What a great feeling to know you are loved.  I was blessed with cards, flowers, phone calls, and text messages throughout the day.  Although I think most of us wish life could just stop for the day, class awaited me as usual! The evening was spent at a wine bar with a group of my lady friends enjoying live music, appetizers & dessert, and great conversation!  Before I went to bed Michael surprised me with a handmade journal from Etsy that we will use to write our love story, capturing the memories and conversations of life together.  Michael surprised me last night with a night in Cambria and of course there is no trip North that doesn't include the Big Sur Coast.  Today we ran the Harmony Headland National Park Trail which starts from Hwy 1 out to the ocean.  It was breathtaking.  A perfect day after a storm. Need I say more.

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes I dream about being a little girl again

Sometimes I wish I could capture a moment forever

Sometimes I dream I was in Africa holding a child

Sometimes I wish I could hide from the world

Sometimes I dream about having children 

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to work so hard

Sometimes I dream everyone I love was saved

Sometimes I wish school came easier for me

Sometimes I dream about a french country home

Sometimes I wish I could eat sugar and not feel guilty

Sometimes I dream about heaven

Sometimes I wish I learned the first time

Sometimes I dream about living on a farm

Sometimes I wish I lived near everyone I loved

Sometimes I dream about the spiritual maturity I will have in ten years 

Sometimes I wish I could always be young

Sometimes I dream Jesus will come soon

SOMETIMES...

FAITH

2 Corinthians 5.7 Walk by faith and not by sight.  Hebrews 4. 1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever draws near to God must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who seek him. 8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance.  And he went out, not knowing where he was going.  17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named."29 By faith the people crossed the Red Sea as if on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same, were drowned.  By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.  

By faith I walk clinging to my God who is bigger than my circumstances.  Pressing towards what is ahead and not holding onto the past that can so easily entangle and distract us from our great prize Jesus. Even when my heart feels like a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; turning it wherever He wills Proverbs 21:1, I am reminded of his promise Psalm 73:23, He is continually with me; who holds my right hand.  Who guides me with his counsel, and afterword will receive me to glory.  26 My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  

When God gives you lemons make lemonade

"When God gives you lemons make lemonade!" I am not sure when I first heard this statement but I can only imagine a wise life weathered soul echoing these words long, long ago.  

"But I didn't ask for lemons!" 

I am sure we all have our "something" we didn't ask for. Wether it is a health, financial, relational, personal or spiritual affair, you didn't ask for it but you now have it.  So what I am learning to ask myself is not why but how? So, not why did you give me lemons? But how can I make lemonade? In other words how can I glorify you with these 'lemons' (sounds quite comical when you put it in the context of fruit)!

It is often easy to live in the fantasy of what we want and envision what life would be like.  I fall into this temptation many a times.  Michael and I were reminded last week by Rolland Baker, a man who is living like Jesus in a desperate and hungry country that there are two things that give him Joy (and this man had uncontrollable & uncontainable joy)....

1. The fear of the Lord

2. Doing His will 

As I have been reading through the book of Daniel with a good friend, I have been challenged by the God fearing faith of Daniel.  His life after Israel had been brought into captivity, was under scrutiny because he had gained favor in the eyes of the king and was appointed leadership over his courts.  Yet there was a clause to this nobility Daniel had been handed and that was embracing the Babylonian ways.  Daniel resolved not to become like the Babylonians and refused to eat, drink, or worship their Gods.  The fear of man did not dictate his loyalty to the Lord but the fear of God drove him to fierce loyalty.  And because of this as the story continues to unfold God is faithful to answer and deliver Daniel from many life threatening circumstances.  

And then there is doing his will. Knowing in simplest terms he calls us to love him & love our neighbor making us more holy and beautiful through the process.  And then there is suffering he calls us to as his children.  As well as specific gifts, callings, and plans he has on our life.  Which sounds so easy as I let these words flow out of me yet so unnatural when they go against my desires and plans.  And so the prayer I have been petitioning to Jesus is, "Give me joy to do your will!"

I was reminded of the fathers heart this morning in church as I heard a small voice speak to me.  Matthew 7:9-11 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If then you who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 

So my strength comes not in my circumstance but in the person of God & who I get to be in him! And who you get to be in him! What great news!